I am a Nightmare: Deleted Scenes
by charliepink
Summary: A collection of "deleted scenes" from my story, "I am a Nightmare," that offer an expanded look at different things that happened "off-screen" from the main story.


**Notes:** I have been debating having a collection of "side-scenes" for "I am a Nightmare" for awhile as there have been times that I have wanted to include things, but I felt that they wouldn't have been as necessary in advancing the story. "I am a Nightmare" is Chibs and Juice's story after all, so I hate to veer off-topic from them too much onto other characters as Chibs and Juice are supposed to be the focus. Here, though, I will be able to play around with these additional scenes in order to expand and flesh out my story a little more without detracting from Chibs and Juice.

Chapters will be of various lengths, and I will potentially up the rating as I continue posting.

(Disclaimer: I did not make a profit off of this story. I do not own or know anyone or anything relating to Sons of Anarchy. This is a work of fiction.)

First off, we have a scene between Happy and his mother. If included in "I am a Nightmare", it would have taken place right after Chibs was trying to invite Happy to Juice's birthday party in chapter fourteen. We get to see a little reflection from Happy and a little insight into his choosing to appear at Juice's party in chapter fourteen.

* * *

 **"A Mother is Always Right"**

"Alright, well...later brother," Chibs nods goodbye and begins walking back towards his motorcycle.

Happy stares after him, and as the bike starts, another deep grunt rumbles from his lips. His arms are still tightly crossed in front of his chest, serious eyes fixed on Chibs' back as the older man takes off down the street. Chibs' words are an unwelcome surprise, and as far as he's concerned, Chibs and Juice's relationship means Chibs is unfit to be Club President. Chibs is like a brother to him that he'd protect to the death, but a relationship with another man is heavily frowned upon. No Club is going to take them seriously if they discover the Sons of Anarchy President is dating one of its male members. The relationship will have to end, or Chibs is going to have to step down.

Happy grunts again, then retreats into the house. He lets the door slam wildly behind him, and not more than a second later his mother's angry voice echoes down the hall.

"Happy Lowman! _What_ have I told you about slamming my door!"

Happy flinches, and he calls back quickly, "Sorry Ma!"

The Tacoma Killer steps gingerly into the living room and spots his mother sitting on the well-worn, green patch-print couch. Her pink floral nightgown contrasts comically against the green cloth of the couch, but the frail woman is not a comical sight. She's drawn her long, stringy brown hair into a loose braid that hangs over her shoulder, and with the hair out of her eyes, the anger in her expression is evident. A burning cigarette is smoking between her fingertips, and as she draws it to her lips, she shoots him a furious glare.

"You shouldn't be smoking, Mom," Happy tells her, attempting to ignore her piercing gaze.

Happy adores his mother, and he'd do anything to make the sickness taking hold of her body go away. He does what he can to take care of her, and he wishes she'd quit smoking, but his mother is stubborn, and smoking is one habit she doesn't seem to want to break.

"Don't tell me what to do!" she snaps back and as if to spite him, takes a long drag from her cigarette.

Momma Lowman isn't a bad woman, but she's stubborn as hell and hates that Happy is stuck taking care of her. It should be the other way around, and though she knows he doesn't mind - he's glad to help - she wishes she could provide more for him. Sometimes she's afraid that he cares more for taking care of her than taking care of his own life, and she feels guilty. She knows that Happy, her wonderful little baby now a grown man, is a little lacking in the social skills department, and she figured out long ago that his "work" in the motorcycle club sometimes takes deadly turns. She wishes he could have a normal life, one away from taking care of her and with a normal job, yet she also knows that a normal life will never happen. Not where her son is involved. So if she wants to smoke, as far as she's concerned, she can smoke. It calms her nerves.

"Did you need anything, Ma?" Happy glances over at the half-eaten TV dinner on the TV tray next to the couch and wonders if it's all his mom has eaten today. "You want me to get you some food?"

Momma Lowman motions grumpily towards the TV dinner, "Does it look like I need food?"

Happy shrugs and decides to change the subject, "I'm going into Charming to meet with some of the guys. I need to discuss something with them."

Chibs had asked Happy not to say anything to the rest of the Club, but he knows he can't keep Chibs' relationship with Juice a secret from them. The Club needs to know the risk Chibs is taking by dating Juice and how there could be negative consequences if other charters find out. A vote at least needs to be taken, and then they can decide if the relationship can carry on or even if Chibs should remain President.

"Happy Lowman, sit down!"

Happy's mother's harsh voice pulls him from his thoughts and once again he flinches at her words. The Tacoma Killer is fearless in the face of any danger except for one thing - his mother - and this time, she sounds particularly angry. Her temper has the ability to get nasty, and even being sick, her anger can turn scary. In this case, not wanting conflict, he obeys and takes a seat on the floor and looks up to awkwardly meet her eyes.

"You are _not_ planning on telling those men about your friend's relationship, are you?" Momma Lowman narrows her eyes at him and takes another drag from her cigarette. When he doesn't reply, she flicks the ash from the cigarette and glares, temper flaring, "How _dare_ you! I thought I raised you better than that."

"I have to, Mom. You don't understand." Happy feels like a child in the face of his greatest weakness. He doesn't know how to make his mom understand that this is the way it has to be.

"What I understand is that you _never_ betray your friends."

Happy feels guilty. She's right, of course, and his refusal to betray his friends has been a motto he's always lived by. But...how is he supposed to handle this? The Club has never seen such a conflict before. "What am I supposed to do?" he asks. He knows she's right, but if he's going to keep Chibs' secret, he needs her guidance.

His mother's face softens as she realizes her boy needs her help, that she can provide the care for once even if the care only comes in words. "You do nothing," she tells him, "You simply accept it because he is your friend."

"But it could hurt the Club."

"How?"

He shrugs as if it's obvious, "Men don't sleep with other men."

"Why, then, are you so forgiving with your friend, Tig, and his partner?"

"I..." Happy pauses, at a loss for words. Sometimes he forgets that Venus wasn't always so woman-like. She's become a natural part of the Club, a regular old lady to Tig, and the Club has accepted her without much trouble. Still, she acts and looks like a woman. "That's different."

"No it's not. Your friend was in love, so you accepted it. Why can't you accept the love of your other friend?"

"Because..." Happy stops, the words coming to the front of his mind, and he can't stop them from blurting out, "Because it's Juice!"

Mrs. Lowman nods, knowing Happy has finally come to the realization he's been brushing aside, "And that matters because?"

Happy doesn't answer. He doesn't have to. While his mom doesn't know most of what goes on in the Club, he still talks to her about some things, and Juice has always been a sore spot for him. She doesn't know the details, but she does know that Juice hurt the motorcycle club somehow and that Happy was very angry when Chibs wanted him to live and be removed from prison. Deep down, Juice is like a brother to Happy just as the rest of the Sons, but on the surface it's hard for Happy to accept the trouble that Juice caused. And now, it's hard for him to come to grips with the relationship between Juice and Chibs because that means Juice is happy, and Happy doesn't know if Juice deserves the happiness.

"Sometimes people do deserve a second chance," his mother tells him softly, knowing his thoughts.

Happy nods. She's right, she's always right, and maybe it's time for him to forgive Juice for everything that happened.

"Keep their secret. It won't hurt anything, not really." She gives him a rare smile and adds, "And you'll go to their party. I'll bake some cookies for you to take."

"Alright, Momma."

Happy feels strangely at peace, and he finds himself suddenly looking forward to Juice's birthday party. It's been too long since his brothers have had a chance to enjoy each other's company, and while Happy is not a man of many words, he enjoys time with his extended family. It will be nice to begin pulling the Sons of Anarchy together again.

"Now then!" Momma Lowman suddenly barks, returning to her usual grumpy self, "My food is cold! Reheat it for me!"

"Yes, Ma."

Happy doesn't miss the quick grin she flashes in his direction as he stands and grabs the TV dinner from the tray. He moves to head into the kitchen when he spots the television remote lying out of her reach. He picks it up and changes the TV to her favorite channel, then sets the remote beside her and makes his way into the kitchen to warm her food.


End file.
